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Explore the hidden complexities of plain text files in software development through this insightful conference talk by Dylan Beattie at GOTO Amsterdam 2023. Delve into the assumptions and intricacies behind "plain text," uncovering how it can lead to unexpected bugs and quirks in software systems. Learn about the historical context of text files, from mechanical teletypes to modern emoji implementations, and discover practical golden rules for working with plain text effectively. Gain valuable insights into file formats, character encodings, and cultural considerations that impact text processing across different systems and languages. Unravel the mystery behind unusual phenomena like Chinese characters appearing in SQL logs and the disappearance of Aarhus from databases. Understand the significance of the cryptic phrase "PIKE MATCHBOX" and its connection to driving in Bulgaria. This talk offers a unique perspective on a fundamental aspect of software development, challenging common assumptions and providing practical knowledge for handling text-related challenges in various programming contexts.