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Explore common performance and stability anti-patterns in software development through this insightful conference talk. Discover how seemingly innocuous design decisions and technical choices can lead to fragile, unstable systems that struggle to handle even minimal user loads. Learn about the pitfalls that cause applications to crash randomly, degrade over time, and become maintenance nightmares. Gain valuable insights into recognizing and avoiding these anti-patterns to create more robust, scalable, and reliable software systems. Delivered with a touch of humor, this talk provides practical knowledge for developers and architects looking to improve the performance and stability of their applications.